Dear Dater,

With Christmas and the holiday season approaching sentimentality and tradition are on my mind. For me Christmas is a family time. Growing up with cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents all coming together to share delicious food, laughs and exchange gifts. Very happy times. Over the years we’ve grown up, moved to different places and had our own kids. The circumstance change, but the sentimentality and traditions remain.

We can be sentimental about so many things. Smells that remind us of a location visited years ago. Places that we remember visiting like it was yesterday.  Eating food that reminds us of the first time we tried it. Being lost in the beauty of our surrounds. Along with sentimentality there is tradition. Practices that we build up and repeat over time. Families create their own Christmas traditions. Which foods are eating for Christmas breakfast, lunch and dinner. How many years Santa gives you presents. What your family does on Christmas Eve.

Over time these traditions gradually change. When you were young you met your uncles’ or cousins’ latest Eve. The following year you silently compare this Eve was last year’s. Over time they chose one to marry. For some you are thrilled for them. For others you think last year’s Eve would have been a better choice.

More years go by and it is your turn to bring Adam’s to Christmas. Your relatives chat with Adam to see what he’s like. Working on making connections. More time goes by and you move away, travel and change careers. Christmas traditions continue.

The juggle of dating and relationships at Christmas include, whose family are you going to spend Christmas lunch with? Are you going to travel? What food is going to be prepared? A hot Christmas lunch or salads and seafood? Does your family leave all the catering to the host? Or does everyone bring something?

One thing that is important in all of this tradition and sentimentality is to not get sentimental over past Adams. Remembering back to the best times of a relationship can turn into a fictitious fairy tale. On the other hand remembering just the worst times with past Adams is not recommended either. Getting wound up by past fights or misunderstandings is not good for your mindset. All relationships will have good times and time you prefer to forget.

By seeing past Adams through rose coloured glasses we may build up unrealistic expectations about future relationships. Our imagination is not always going to be the most reliable for working out the best way to build our current relationships. Each and every Adam and Eve has a unique relationship. Build your relationships with tradition and sentimentality. These are some of the things we cherish the most.  The bonus of relationship traditions and sentimentality is you don’t have to wait a whole year, like you do for Christmas to come around. Take care of each other and have a wonderful festive season.

What traditions do you look forward to at Christmas?

What traditions are you going to build in your relationship?

Let me know what you’re sentimental about.

Have a very Merry Christmas

Surely Eve