Dear Dater,

There are so many subtle – or not so subtle – language changes when referring to Eves or Adams. A recent example was a film promotion where the Eve was stating what a sensational actor Adam was. When Eve spoke about Eve the actor she commented on her hairstyle and how much the Eve actor liked the cut. Where’s the comments on Eve’s ability as an actor and her talent?

The same is true for online dating profiles. There are differences in language. As I found looking at [Splendid Profiles for Attracting Eve] and [Suboptimal Profiles for Eve] this is now worse than I thought. Now it seems Adams’ profiles are about Adam (in 10 words or less) and Eves’ profiles are about Adam.

Here’s an example of what I mean:

Adams proudly state that they can cook.  If Eve states she can cook would the response from Adam be ‘Well I’d certainly hope so’?

What I am looking to do is find some examples of what Adams write so that I can show the amusing differences in language and approach if Eve wrote similar things.

Adam Profile

                I’ve kissed Katy Perry – so she’s your competition

Eve version

                I’ve kissed Tom Holland – so join the queue

What are prospective Adams and Eve supposed to think of this? Eve reading Adam’s profile thinks – Oh I’m as hot as Katy Perry so there’s no issue there.

Adam reading Eve’s profile thinks – Great I wouldn’t mind a go of Spiderman’s suit.

It would also be possible for Eves to think – As if? ….Or You’ve got to be joking….. Or In your dreams!

It would also be possible for Adams to think – I’m not interested in joining a queue…. Or That kid in Billy Elliot musical isn’t old enough to be dating… Or I’m no movie star

Let’s try another profile…

Adam profile

                I’m on this dating site because the Eve’s on the other dating site were horrendous

Apparently, Eves approved of this – especially Eves who’d changed dating sites.  Really????

Eve profile

                I’m on this dating site because the Adam’s on the other dating site were horrendous

On one level I can relate to the statement…. But as your profile?

So what is the intention for prospective dates to think – Eve thinks well I’m an Eve an this site so I’m drop dead gorgeous.

Adam thinks – Oh great now Eve is going to find me and I’m a real catch.

It might be more likely that Eve thinks – What a judgemental bastard…. Or Adam just can’t find anyone…. Or Why does Adam expect this site to be any different? 

Let’s look at another Adam profile…

Adam profile

                I’m studying law

                I consume a lot of cable TV and food network.   

Eve profile

                I’m studying medicine

                I binge watch Netflix

So prospective Eves are supposed to think – Oh wow Adam must be smart and he’s going to be rich.

Prospective Adams are supposed to think – Oh wow Eve must be smart and she’s going to be rich.

But there’s also a chance Eves think – Adam’s going to Uni – so he might have brains, but when Adam is not in class he binges watches TV and he’s found the easiest way to deal with food is by watching shows about it.

Adams may think – Eve’s going to be a doctor, working shift work, never home and not family oriented. Although she’s studying her down time is spent glued to a screen.

Given the newfound brevity in on-line dating profiles my original intention to switch language used by Adams and Eve was not as expected. My plan relied on there being words to switch.

International Womens’ Day is a time to think about how women are portrayed in all aspects of life. It is important for Eves to feel pride and capable and confident in the world. The on-line dating world is no exception. I encourage Eves to write profiles that reflect who they are. Capture the interest of Adams based on what Eve loves about life, rather than Adams’ attributes.

My Eve profile suggestion

                Sunsets across the water are my idea of paradise.

                Walking my dog in the local park, listening to an audio book starts off my day.

                If you’d like to join me, I’ll hear from you soon.

Maybe you disagree that this is a ‘model’ Eve profile. From my perspective – At least is says something.

Let me know your views on current dating profiles. Surely Eves are more than a few photos?

Do you appreciate Adam putting some effort into his profile?

Here’s to Eves knowing what they want and taking pride in who they are.

Celebrate being an Eve

Surely Eve