Dear Dater

Do you know that feeling when you have an idea about how something will be and then when you actually see or experience it it ends up being quite different to what you expected? That happened to me when I finally saw the movie – A Star is Born.

A Star is Born was a movie I’d been aware of for years. At school one of my assignments was to write an autobiography. My family suggested I call mine ‘A Star is Born’. I can still see the picture I drew on the front cover. For me it conjured up a life building up to stardom. A wonderful life to be treasured. That had been my interpretation for so many years.

Recently a friend of mine told me she was taking her husband to see A Star is Born as a date night. This idea fit perfectly with my feel good wonderful life idea. A great movie to see on a date night.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to see this movie of grandeur, stardom and success. Well boy was I surprised. There is stardom and success at a few levels. There was serendipity and talent. Talent of  an already famous musical Adam launches the career of an Eve.  Eve grasps the opportunity to escape her current situation. All of this seems to align with the stardom and success I was expecting. The ingredient missing from my movie summary and my expectation of the movie was the famous musical Adam was an alcoholic. The movie characters all knew it. The alcoholism permeated everything.

In A Star is Born the concerts, the touring, the music creation, the connection between stars all occurred with the alcoholism intertwined. The connection between them created the songs and music which went on to create more popularity.

Similar to a new relationship when you and Adam have all the energy in the world. Everything is wonderful. You are both on a natural high. A time of exploration and discovery. This time can also be a time of blinkers. When issues are ignored or dismissed. Or when you hope they will change.

In A Star is Born the fans love Eve. They have always loved Adam. The two musicians keep touring and creating more songs based on the love they shared. The songs reflected the connection of love – Reflected heartfelt feelings. As Eve’s fans increased a music manager emerges. Offers of recordings and creations of an album come Eve’s way. With this manager’s offer comes the pressures of commercialism. The songs being written by Eve are influenced by external factors. The style and fashions of Eve are influenced by external factors. Eve’s personality and appearance are reshaped by the expectation of the music industry. Dancers and dance routines are added to the mix. The purity of Eve’s natural talent is lost to the music industry machine. Alcoholic Adam seems to sway between jealousy and giving messages to Eve to stay true to herself. Regardless of which of these triggers sparked Adam his solution was alcohol.

Again similar to a relationship as Eve and Adam know each other for a while the dynamics change. Issues arise as they see the real deal. The good with the bad. Gaining insights into each others’ lives. Choices are made whether to support each other, whether to grow together or to grow apart. Often all of the above.

In A Star is Born Adam attempts to treat his alcoholism at various times in various ways. Eve is often away working on her new album with her new look, dancers and music. Adam is touring. They are spending less time together. The two of them slot in a sudden wedding. Adam gives Eve an engagement ring made out of a piece of guitar string. Friends organise the wedding for the same day. The wedding is an attempt to hold the relationship together. Adam wanted a reason to cherish life. Eve wasn’t so sure. Whisked up in the celebration. Knowing the path of her life having an alcoholic father. Now marrying an alcoholic. The roller coaster ride continued. The heart ache, the damage. If you want to know what happens after that you’ll have to watch the movie.

As you can see the story line of the movie varied from the wonderful feel good movie I expected. I wondered about why others would consider it to be a ‘Date night’ special.  Guess it is each to their own.

May you be inspired to make heartfelt music and write original love songs with your Adam.

Always stay true to yourself. There’s no need to be swept up in the razzle dazzle.

You know what’s right for you.

Let me know what you thought of A Star is Born?

Surely Eve