Dear Dater,

Online dating opens up a world of possibility. There are so many people looking for love. So many suitors. People from all over the world. Adams from all walks of life.  On one hand online dating seems to assist those looking for love by bringing them to a shared location. On the other hand previous methods of gaining an understanding of Adam are lost – for example growing up in the same place, sharing a love of the same pastimes, studying the same thing.

Our searches for Adam start with nothing. We have no knowledge of what he does, where he lives, what he likes, who his friends are. Depending on the chosen online dating ap you put Adam’s story together piece by piece.

Sometimes we get speedy short cuts:

• An age bracket we’re not interested in
• a photo that show’s us he’s really not our type
• a remark that removes him from our radar
• a location that’s on the other side of the planet

We collect together information about Adam where ever we can get it. Our radar is on the alert with our initial virtual interactions. Picking up more signals and interpreting messages we gather more intelligence.

As I write this I’m watching a show that includes a character starting online dating. This Adam has become hooked on the percentage assigned by the online dating app – rather than on the person. This tact shows us one of the first stumbling blocks- where Adam and Eve just stick with virtual interactions and never actually meeting. [Stood Up Eve]

If we get past this stage. (Which I highly recommend) Our interpretations guide us on who we are going to meet on our online journey. [It’s meeting time Eve]

Our meetings with Adam accelerate our ability to gather intelligence tenfold. All our senses are engaged to assist us come to our senses. Our sight; our hearing; our touch; our sense of smell and our taste. We interpret where we meet, what we do, what we eat, what we say, what we don’t say, how we feel, whether our expectations are met. Our senses are on overload.

We’ve made it this far…. We’ve put ourselves out there….We are wondering if this is the beginning… or the end…… [Streets Are Two Way Eve]

We make it on to our second date and beyond. We continue to collect facts.

We meet builders, architects, lawyers, cyclists, photographers, real estate agents, spies, electricians and bus drivers. We meet Adams who studied overseas, Adams who’ve never studied and Adams who are studying now. We meet Adams who’ve travelled and Adams who’ve lived overseas.  So many suitors from so many walks of life.

We just have to take care that we don’t take this supposedly unlimited supply of Adams for granted. It is about your connection with this Adam and how your relationship grows that is what counts. Not that there will be another Adam around the corner if this one doesn’t work out. There will always be Adams that just don’t do it for you. But there will be others that have a charm and spark you’re looking for. Have fun with these Adams and see where it takes you.

Pay attention to what’s right in front of you rather than dream the impossible dream.

So what suitors have you met? How do they measure up?

Are they your knight in shining armour?

Surely Eve