Situations Change Eve

Dear Dater

There are many variables with dating:

There are also location, lifestyle and looks to factor in.

Some of these variable come into play early on – like looks and location. Others become clearer as you get to know Adam more.

Typically relationships “sort themselves out” in 6 months. This gives you both time to see what each other are really like and whether your time together is desirable and sustainable.

Sometimes there are Adams you meet where the relationship lasts longer – a year – then two years. With this additional time you get more and more understanding about Adam.  You grow closer and more intimate.  You coordinate events, celebrate Christmas and establish routines.

With this extended time together another change occurs – increased expectations…

Too often we bring with us or past experiences, our underlying hopes and our happy ever after fairy tale endings.

Communication is key to navigating your relationship – working out what each of you want and how to make it happen.  It’s important to express your needs and desires – as Adam is not a mind reader. It’s also important to know things you want will not always work out your way, or the way you planned.

Making the most of what occurs and unfolds, and making light of your circumstances, goes a long way to you having great times with Adam – regardless of expectations and circumstances.

With all these interwoven elements it is also important to reflect on what you and Adam have created. Is it:

  • fun and laugher?
  • Factoring in all options”
  • Finding viable solutions?

Sometimes these reflections may find that the relationship is one sided with you or Adam having no desire to make changes.

Look at elements in your relationship like:

  • What is the frequency of your catch ups?
  • What is the frequency of your communication?
  • What is the quality of your interactions?

When you considering what you have in your relationship it is important to listen to what Adam is saying and well as what you are saying to yourself. Listen to what Adam is actually saying and what actions he’s taking. See if these actions and words are growing your relationship or actions that suit Adam. What are you feeling?

Small Changes can make a big difference – but if either person is not prepared to make the changes then the relationship will not grow into a partnership.

May you create a wonderful partnership.

Let me know what situations have changed with you and Adam.

Surely Eve

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