Dear Dater

Coincidences on dates are amusing – like the Adam that bought his first house on the street I now live in. Or the Adam that was going out with a Eve with the same name as a friend of mine, who’d just broken up with an Adam with the same name as this Adam. Or the Adam who named all the people I worked with, once he found out where I worked. 

Not too long ago I met a series of Adams who all worked in the same building.  This was made even stranger as the building was beside the building I worked in. Walking in and out of work became and “Adventure of Adams”.

It feels to me like life has run out of ideas – so a limited number of items are regurgitated – as if your imagination is all out of ideas – so life is forced to repeat itself at random intervals.

Another weird thing occurred not long after I started in a new job, I went on a few dates with an Adam who looked good on paper.  We met a few times – enough times for Adam to tell me about his grown up kids.  He described a conservative son and an adventurous daughter.  As I heard more about the son I wondered if it was the Adam who worked over the partition from me.  It is hardly the work conversation – Am I dating your Dad?

But serendipity is more than just coincidences. It is unexpected, unanticipated, opportune chance.  It is more like aligning of the stars.

Serendipitous is being in the right place at the right time – magic can happen. Connections from shared knowledge. Unexpected encounters. Charmed chances.

An Adam told me an amusing serendipitous story on a date. He traveled to New York where he knew no-one, but had a job interview lined up. On the way to his interview he was in awe – staring up at the amazing buildings – and bumped into an Eve. The Eve let him know that this was not her preferred method of meeting Adams – in no uncertain terms – before both of them headed off on their way. Adam gets to his job interview to find the Eve he just literally bumped into works there. Unbelievable!!!! Maybe in a small town…. But New York???? The Adam got the job and this Adam and Eve ended up sharing a place.  It’s said that fact is stranger than fiction.

Perhaps it was serendipity that had me listening to a TED talk the other day on desire. That seems like a great Valentine’s Day theme.  According to the talk desire in relationships is caused by 1) being apart from Adam and 2) seeing Adam in his element.  So it seems being passionate is good for so many reasons.  When Eve sees Adam expressing himself passionately Eve sees Adam in a new light.  An endearing and alluring light.  This passion is contagious. What a great way to build desire and develop your relationship with Adam. This is my preference to being apart from Adam, but desire is a wonderful element in a relationship, so if that’s one of the methods I’ll take that too.

My Adam and I had a serendipitous and sensual day the other day.  On a quest for Chinese New Year items we ended up in a lingerie shop.  Adam bought me a beautiful set of lingerie that included a suspender belt. This is not something we set out for, but it was something I had always wanted. At the counter was a deck of cards for lovers.  These also ended up in my gift bag.  Desire was definitely created for both of us. Our evening was sensational. We intend to have many more…

For me this shows the importance being open to surprises and gifts and willing to have fun with your Adam.  Through a set of charmed chances magic happened.

Have you experienced serendipity on dates?

Happy Valentine’s Day

Surely Eve