Dear Dater,

One of the thing about online dating is that you meet Adams that you wouldn’t usually meet in the course of your life.  Adams who work from home.  Adams who live out of town.  Adams who have a completely different education to you.  With this comes the understanding that there are so many worlds out there that you previously had no idea about.

Supposedly class systems in our society are much less prevalent than they used to be.  Well this may be the case, but online dating shows that they still exist at some levels.

Some Adams are keen to know:

• which city do you live in
• what type of car you drive
• where you kids go to school

Granted – sometimes this is just conversation.  Other times it is – Do you stack up against the checklist of financial success?

One Adam I dated once defined himself as a list of capital items – his house was in an expensive suburb, he had a $20,000 bike, his kids went to private schools, he only flies (rather than driving to cities), his kids practice archery and dressage.  I couldn’t believe this Adam.  I had no doubt what he was saying was true – but rather what amazed me was that this was his measure of life.  There was no sense that he valued the beauty of nature, or the sound of laughter.  For him financial success was the only thing that counted.  When I realised why I felt like I’d been run over by a steamroller after our first date I knew there was no reason to meet him again.

Some months later I was amazed again as I got a message from him out of the blue.  It said that around the time we’d met he also met another Eve.  They were now an item and that he would not be seeing me again. We had not had any form of communication for months.  If he thought we were in any form of relationship I would be amazed.  I put it down to a condition of the new Eve ruling out any competition.

With this online dating class structure it sometimes shows up as Adams who tell you how many trees they purchased and how many tractors and friends they have conjured together to get them planted.  This Adam lets me know he is an architect and that he would like a place closer to the centre of town.  I am not meeting any of his criteria.  I am unable to provide the studio apartment he craves.  As I am not able to match the number of trees and I suspect I am not the vineyard owning, supermodel he was hoping to meet our acquaintance was short lived.

One Adam lured Eves in by telling them he lived near a famous mountain and he’d like to spend more time walking up it.  I suggested it one day and found it was a tempter rather than a “truism”. The important message was the location not the promise of exercise.

Another Adam’s reporting online dating location moved from the worst suburb to the best suburb.  That was definitely a tempter rather than a “truism”.  That Adam’s age also regenerated by 20 years. [So Age Eve]. Obviously a tempter rather than “truism” can be applied to so many aspects of the dating world.

Seems Adams are interested in social climbing along with some Eves.

I am clearly not one of ‘Those’ Eves – Otherwise I’d be:

• getting my kids into archery and dressage
• picking new schools
• flying interstate
• buying an vineyard and studio apartment and
• moving to the mountains.

Let me know what tempter or “truisms” you’ve encountered?

As Annie Lennox sings “Stay true to yourself and you can’t go wrong.”

May you find an Adam that tempts you in all the right ways.

Surely Eve