An online dating friend of mine was telling a group of Eves about her latest date with Adam. She had started dating people on a free website – and she was getting what she paid for….
For the first date Eve met this Adam for a walk. As the date progressed Eve wished the walk wasn’t so long. A bit further along Eve wished Adam would sit on a seat and leave her to walk by herself. Further along Eve felt like running off ahead – not glancing back for a second. So what caused these reactions on the first date? The subject matter of Adam’s conversation.
The first thing out of Adam’s mouth was “I am going on three dates this week”.
Note – even if this is true disclosing this information is stupidity.
Thinking back on the story of the date unfolding there were so many subject matter ‘breaches’ on this date I am unlikely to be listing them all. Here are a few examples of the subject matter ‘breaches’ – with notes to assist any Adam that may be thinking of muttering these phrases on a first date. (Or possibly any date.)
Adam “I like to get massages” Eve “Oh where do you go for those?”
Adam “a place where I can pay for a happy ending” Eve “Oh a brothel?”
Adam “No not a brothel – It is run by women.”
Adam “I don’t wear a condom – I don’t like them.”
Note – telling Eve that you have sex with prostitutes without a condom is not going to make you appealing. – but maybe Eve is better of knowing this upfront – for her own protection????[Safe Sex Eve]
Adam “Do you know that you can bring other people along – or pay for a third participant?” Eve “It’s not my thing.”
Adam “Do you know that Eve’s can come along and get licked out – by an Adam or an Eve?”
Adam “I could watch” Eve “It’s really not my thing.”
Note – Adam if this is your thing – I’m not sure the first date is the time or place – but maybe it is better to be upfront about this so Eve knows where you’re coming from???? So she can leave you to it.
Adam “You have a great pair of tits.” Eve “I’m rather attached to them.”
Adam “You’d be a good root.”
[Note – This statement is possibly poetic licence – but no other line so far has been created by the author- I have no doubt that this is what Adam is thinking at this point.]
Adam “Have you been to a nudist beach?” Eve “Friends of mine go – but it’s not my thing.”
Adam “Do you watch porn?” Eve “ It is really not my thing.”
Note – I’m amazed that Eve can respond to these statements. I would have left the date much earlier.
The walk finished and Eve said to Adam – “Enjoy tomorrow’s date.”
Note – this is Eve’s code for “I never want to see you again.”
Adam has just spent the first date telling Eve:
- he pays for sex without a condom
- he is likely to have sexually transmitted diseases
- he dates as many Eves as possible
Given Adam’s selected subject matter – complete lack of charm – and “no filter” – the Eves he dates go flying and he has to select prostitutes to get his rocks off. Poor prostitutes. No wonder he is still on the prowl… and has to pay for it.
I don’t think there are any Eves that would find this Adam appealing.
Adam did not mention any of these pastimes in his pre-dating chats. Eve went on the date with a false sense of security.
I’m certainly not going to be using that free dating site!!!
What do you think? Let me know if you’ve met the type?
Hoping your next date is not with this Adam.