Shaping your life Eve

Dear Dater,

There are times when I meet people and I can see how they shape their lives. As an observer it is so obvious to me. Do you know what I mean? One example was a work colleague who kept talking about living next door to a pervert. I am sure this situation would be far from ideal.  Often at lunch I would hear about the neighbour.  One day I got an extra add on and found that the pervert didn’t live there anymore – but the stories from my colleague kept coming.  Another example was a friend who told me about the behaviour of her relations on a holiday from three years ago. Another example are the kids of nurses who find being sick gets Mum’s attention.

Yes it is important to work through what ever is going on for you.  It is great to have friends to discuss things with.  A supporting shoulder and listening ear are great assistants.  But we should listen to ourselves and ask ourselves:

  • how old are these stories?
  • which element of these stories still affect us?
  • how much of our valuable lives are we spending re-living these past stories and painful memories?
  • when are we going to let these harboured feelings go?

Our stories are one of the keys to how we shape our lives.  Are our stories about:

  • friends
  • complaints
  • regrets
  • current goings ons
  • the wonders of life
  • questions about the world around us?

Our language says way more about us than we know.  To our friends who listen to us over time the patterns can be seen like the light radiating from a lighthouse.  To ourselves we are so often left in the dark on how we shape our lives.

Adams I’ve met have:

  • retell sad stories from the past
  • reveal how they didn’t recognise key elements in their past relationships
  • reflect on their upbringings
  • reminisce about their travels
  • remind me how wonderful the world is

I always wonder as I watch the lighthouse stories shaping Adam and my friends’ lives – How am I shaping my own?

With the new year just around the corner I invite you to look at what you bring into the new year. By taking a look at what you are lugging around you can chose what keep with you and what you leave behind.  This understanding is the beginning of letting go all the heavy stuff that is dragging you down. Leaving this stuff behind lets you take on new exciting things.

Give yourself space to take on your current life with gusto.  Enjoy what you have.

Appreciate what you have in your life rather than measure yourself – and those around you – against your baggage.

How do you shape your life?

Let me know what you discover about your lighthouse of life.

Surely Eve

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