Dear Dater

Eves face lots of pressures around their body image. In the western world there is an expectation that Eves should be thin and shapely.  Younger Eves are more likely to meet this unspoken expectation.  As Eves get older (God forbid) and have kids (oh no!!) – our bodies change.  There are also younger and younger Adams who face societies pressures around appearance.

Our attitudes change too.  Some Eves are accepting of their bodies and other Eves are forever dieting to reach the often unattainable body image.

Do we actually see ourselves accurately?  I think not.  Body image brings up so many things for us. Are you an elegant swan or an ugly duckling?

I was watching a show once where an Adam was saying he didn’t like the way he looked because he was teased as a boy.  This Adam was a stunner. He’d forgotten to look in the mirror for the last 15 years.  Many of us have versions of this – where we believe others’ obsolete views over our current reality [Shaped by the past Eve]. I know an Eve who was teased about her lips.  Now if anyone says anything about her lips – even complementary things – she hates it. Another example is Eves with eating disorders who believe they are fat.  In reality these Eves have no body fat at all and are chasing an unobtainable perception. An online dating friend of mine has been raised to think that she must diet all the time – because that is what her mother did. We all have such different expectations and perceptions.

I know I like getting dressed up. But I also like wearing my weekend clothes. I grab them out of the wardrobe – Oh it is so easy.  At times I wonder if I should be making ‘more effort’ – ie wearing clothes on the weekend that aren’t the same jeans and top?  Should I be showing off my figure and doing my hair?  Part of me thinks yes – and part of me thinks no…. There are so many factors:

• What you are doing? – the gardening – driving around town
• Who you are catching up with? – the sports Mums – the familiar friends- or Adam
• How long you have to get ready? – are you flying out the door for kids activities
• Where you are going? – to the park – or out to dinner
• What’s been washed? – clothes and undergarments [Socks and Jocks Eve]

What I’ve always admired in Eves – no matter what size or shape – are the Eves who radiate self-assurance and energy.  Do you know the ones I mean? The Eves who carry themselves with pride, looking elegant and bringing with them a positive outlook.  I believe the underlying reasons for these radiating Goddesses are the Eves accept          who they are – exactly as they are.

Elements to being a radiating Goddess Eve include:

• taking pride in your appearance – others notice this – almost at a subconscious level
• having self-confidence – being comfortable with who you are
• enjoying life – seeing the joy in life and what’s around you
• being yourself – knowing yourself – your likes and dislikes
• appreciating the beauty of nature – seeing the wonders in the world around you
• showing kindness – giving back to the community
• laughing – seeing humour and bringing lightness and brightness with you

Choices. Choices.  Sometimes I can be Sensational Eve and sometimes I can be Weekend Eve – Goddess Eve in jeans. Whatever takes my fancy.

How do you scrub up?

However you chose to dress – try on the elements of a radiating Goddess.  It could be easier than you think – I really must give it a go!

Let me know whether you’re in touch with reality, chasing an illusion or a radiating Goddess.

Surely Eve