Dear Dater

The things one does for one’s online dating friends… I was recently invited to a hen’s night.  Well as we know hen’s nights often come with a stripper.  This hen’s night offered more than that – as it was on a boat – with around 12 strippers.

There were many things that surprised me about the adventure.  The first was how many hen’s night and associated hens were packed onto the boat.  Secondly I was surprised by the dress code of the hens.  The boat was in a city a few hundred kilometres from where I live.  Clearly I wasn’t up to date with the fashions of this city.  Pale pink jump suits were the rage with short shorts.  I realised my dress was 1 metre too long.  I had no pink jumpsuit – or any desire to own one.  I was definitely in the minority.

As each group of hens were herded onto the boat a male waiter (rooster) was photographed surrounded by the chooks.  At this point the roosters are wearing black pants with braces – allowing a clear view of their super fit torsos.  These roosters clearly worked-out.  At this stage I also notice they are mostly short.

There is an upstairs and a downstairs on this boat. Our rooster shows us to one of many tables packed in to accommodate all the hens.  It is getting a bit battery hen like at this point. We peck our way through dinner then are instructed to squeeze ourselves onto the decks while the dining room is transformed into a dancefloor. This part of the night was probably a highlight for me as I enjoyed watching the scenery from the deck – the city shining in lights. Following a quick fix of this view we are back into the boat to see ‘what we all came for’.

I’ve heard that dancers make better lovers.  This idea has always concerned me slightly -as I prefer not to dance.  The dance floor on this boat proved this point without a doubt.  I definitely saw moves I’ve never seen, or even considered, before.  These hens were hot.  These hens could move baby…. And the roosters….. Well……

Watching all of this from the safety of a chair I marvelled at the spectacle.  Hens were loving this stuff.  Roosters also seemed well rehearsed with their multiple moves. Roosters were getting hens and mothers of the bride up to dance.  There were moves that included multiple roosters and especially selected well endowered hens and sometimes chairs.

There seemed to be two events occurring simultaneously.  There was the dancefloor for the guests used to a night on the dancefloor.  The other event seemed to be made up of the high flyers.  The hens with exceptional moves seemed to disappear as did roosters.  I suspected that the top floor of the boat was turned into an ‘invite only’ affair.

Then the strip shows began.  Roosters strutting their stuff – losing their layers.  Hens going wild.  I suspect part of the reason all this occurred on a boat was due to the decibels.  On land the sound barrier would be broken.  Rooster after rooster came out on display.  The hens’ night hens were given privileged access and viewings.  The roosters all ended the display will skillful towel work and well cupped hands.

From this spectacle the hens are invited to a nearby nightclub.  Many hens and many roosters selected this option to keep the night going.  As our group assembled on land I heard one of the roosters say he wasn’t going to the nightclub as he had already got a date for the night.  I expect that the roosters moved to the next location to raise more money – Adding to what had been collected from our entry fees and bar revenue the roosters last catch for the evening could be the icing on the cake.

This made me think about the reversed situation.  If it had been a bucks’ night boat then it would be assumed that the hen strippers were prostitutes and that any additional services would come at a cost.  Here we had roosters who seemed to be going with the flow and enjoying a night out.

How do these roosters broach the topic of fees and charges?  At what point does a manoeuvre of the dance floor turn into a business transaction?  I can’t answer these questions as I wasn’t there.  I’d had enough excitement for one night.

May you have fun strutting your stuff.

Let me know whether the fireman or the Tarzan appealed to you.

Surely Eve