Dear Dater,

Sex toys seem to pop up in surprising places. At work the other day my colleague mentioned the benefits of having a dildo. (Given the Eve involved, the time and the place – it was very surprising). Another friend of mine was telling me that when her group of friends turned 50 they gave each other dildos. This friend was put out when her gift was not what she expected, so her friends bought her a subtle lipstick sized dildo – and all was well.

One Adam asked me ‘Did I have any toys? – other Eves he knew had toys and had lots of fun with them’.

Many years ago I was involved in a treasure hunt where one of the ‘treasures’ to collect was a dildo.  I went with a few others into a sex shop and watched as others from the group purchased the dildo so we could obtain our valuable treasure hunt points.  It was not an experience I ever felt the need to repeat.

One day an online dating friend of mine invited me to a sex toy party.  I thought about this blog and thought – what the hell I’ll go!  It was an Eve only event.  The Eve hosting the party told us about another group she hosted where all the Eves read smut books and all knew each other. I’m sure that party would have been quite a raucous affair.  At the time I was seeing an Adam who for no reason I ever worked out was not interested in sex – well at least not with me anyway.  So I went along to the sex toy party for research purposes.

I watched in amazement as I saw the variety of products on offer – from the scented oils, lip balms and lingerie to dildos that looked like you’d need a license to drive them.  Double ended, or with so many variations in movements, speeds and colours that it seemed to me that the original model had been superseded.  We had gone from the wheel – to a simple bike – to a four wheeled car – now we had worked our way to the Lamborghinis, Porches and Ferraris.  The requirement for a wheel was long gone.

As I contemplated the selection of offerings I had one major dilemma – What sex?  Part of me knew that sex toys were one of the solutions to this dilemma. Another part of me wondered – What’s the point with only one?

As the offerings, such as scented balms, circulated for closer inspection a selection of flavoured body chocolates was passed under our noses. Now this had potential.  It was delicious. I can eat chocolate at any time in any place – regardless of whether I am seeing an Adam or whether I’m having sex or not.  So here was a simple solution – I order body chocolate.

There was one slight concern.  The Eve hosting the party lets us know that the chocolate needs to be kept in the fridge.  Hmmmm I think. This may not be so easy with kids in the house.  How does one answer ‘Can we have this chocolate on our ice cream tonight?’ Or ‘What is the chocolate in the fridge for?’  As I thought about this further I knew the body chocolate was never going to live in my fridge. If I’m having this much angst over possible questioning on chocolate imagine how I’d go if the Deluxe Ferrari was found in the cupboard.

So I avoid this potential point of awkwardness by keeping my body chocolate out of the fridge.  (And not buying any Ferraris). What I hadn’t factored into awkward moments was when I had to pick up the parcel – with my kids. My solution to this was – don’t open the parcel.

This has remained my solution as I still have the delicious body chocolate unopened in my cupboard….

I did mentioned the body chocolate to one Adam – who never mentioned it again. (That was without me mentioning the details around the body chocolate never having lived in the fridge).

So in my very limited experiences with sex toys I am intrigued that Eves mention them more than Adams.

May you have fun with your Ferrari.

Let me know how the test drive goes and the subsequent road tests.

Surely Eve