Shared Experiences Eve

Dear Dater,

I’ve been noticing that if I’m seeing an Adam I am keen to attend concerts, visit exhibitions, see movies, walk up mountains and devour delicious dinners.  Having an Adam to accompany me seems to be my key to enthusiasm.  I notice the levels of excited expectations I have prior to our meetings.  I notice the shared experiences; the enjoyment we experience from our time together.

I see this as the appeal of shared experiences. Reading online dating profiles this seems like a common theme – ‘Looking for someone to share my life with’.  This seems to be a definite draw card for why many of us continue with online dating. (Other than the obvious – Sexy Eve). But does this really just mean ‘Looking for someone to have sex with?’

So do Adams do online dating for shared experiences other than sex?  Of course not all Adams will have identical views on this…..????? It does seem to me though that Adams have varying ways to show this.  From Speechless Eve I know that there are Adams that sweep you into their arms and kiss you in the kitchen, or the front step, or the picnic blanket….  More recently though I have encountered Adams that have talked to me into the night and then got up and gone home.

What is going on here? Are these Adams:

  • waiting for me to make to first move?;
  • wishing they left two hours before – Am I boring them to death?;
  • thinking that if sex isn’t on the cards before all this chatting then it’s too much effort?;
  • looking at my house and thinking this place is not for me?;
  • thinking that the dinner wasn’t yummy?;
  • wanting me to slip into something more comfortable?.

Well I don’t know because these Adams disappear off the face of the earth.  Clearly something didn’t agree with them [Subconscious Eve].  I am left asking myself what is different now? Is it my ‘wait and see attitude’ – where I am waiting to get clear signals from Adam?  Is the ‘Metoo’ campaign leaving Adams not knowing what the new rules are now?  Is it that these Adams need Eve to make the first move?

I have always thought that if things are going to happen between Adam and Eve they will happen. So whatever reason these Adams have for walking out of my house, and my life, that is the right outcome – As an online dating friend of mine says ‘Lucky Adams true colours showed up so early on’.

Recently I heard a comedian saying that her parents in today’s online dating world would have had three dates and gone their separate ways.  This outcome is fine. She compared this to when her parents were dating you had sex early on and then Eves had to slowing learn to love Adam over time. She went on to joke that this early separation is a good thing as alcoholic bastards are not committing any more.  The other side of this seems to be that no one is committing any more…..

What are your experiences with shared experiences? Is sex the only real connector? Or do we hang out together as we genuinely do enjoy many shared experiences in and out of the bedroom?

May you have many close encounters of varying kinds.

Surely Eve

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