Dear Dater,

Levels of cleanliness are often an area of contention between couples.

If Adam is telling you how many loads of washing he’s doing and when he’s fitting in his ironing then he’s not ready for a relationship.  (The same goes for Eves too by the way). [Sorted Eve]

When Adam tells you he’s a clean freak but doesn’t carry his plate to the kitchen – take note.  Beware of Adams who tell you they jump out of bed in the morning to change the sheets.  There are better things to do in beds in the morning.

A woman I used to work with said a friend told her “Your sink says a lot about you”.  Personally I think a person, who thinks sinks say a lot about them, needs to get a life.

I have always held the view that people who fill their time vaccuming the house twice a week and doing a load of washing every day were doing it to fill time as they were bored.  I do know some people love to clean – but I am not one of those people.  I would rather garden, or spend time with family, or try online dating.  It is when online dating that cleaning issues get ‘interesting’.

For me my cleaning catalyst is having visitors.  My dishwaser gets packed,  my shower gets cleaned, the bathroom gets the once over and the floor gets swept.  To give you some idea of how much I dislike vaccuming – I live in a house with floorboards.  It suits me just fine.

I had the perfect set up with one Adam.  I went to his house and cooked dinner.  We enjoyed our meal together.  I left for exercise class and came back to a cleaned up kitchen.  My idea of paradise.  Another Adam was almost at the other end of the spectrum.  He invited me over for dinner and the food emerged from a kitchen so crammed with stuff that I was not sure dinner was a regular occurence.  So yes we all have our levels of cleanliness.

Another thing that is important to me about cleaning is to not talk about it.  When people ask me what I did on the weekend I don’t list the loads of washing, the packing of the dishwasher and the changing of the sheets.  I much prefer to mention the walk,  or the film I saw, or the place I went to catch up with friends.  Surely this is more interesting to everyone involved than wiping down benchtops????

I do have a theory that some Adams mention it and are interested because they want to know if you are a domesticated goddess who comes to their place and does all the cleaning and cooking – a 1950s model house wife.

An online dating friend of mine was telling me recently that she is a cleanliness freak. (Yes there are a few of you around).  She told me her nerves were not settled until the kitchen, bathroom and lounge were tidied.  This ‘to do’ list was a daily task…. And she wondered why she went to bed exhausted.  I suggested to her there were other reasons to go to bed and surely they would take a higher priority.  I could tell she wasn’t convinced.

I find the things that drive us are so interesting and diverse.  I could not think of anything worse than being driven by cleaning.  For my friend it is a source of calm.  It is this diversity of extremes that has to be factored into online dating – because we are all so different.  Surely time with loved ones is preferential to mopping floors?

My advice – Chill

but not to Arctic levels.

Where do you fit along the cleanliness scale?

Surely Eve