Dear Dater,

I’ve always wondered when the ‘right’time is to start dating – after you’ve separated from your partner.  (Some Adams don’t have that criteria).

Advice on the subjects suggests when you are exercising again.  I would argue some people never exercise – so maybe that’s not a measure they’d use.  Other advice suggests a certain timeframe: six months; a year.  I would argue this timeframe will be different for everyone.  For me it was five years.  For an Adam I met it was two months.  So they’re just about the extremes.

One Adam I saw for a while had a ‘hoarder’ house.  He’d obviously had to downsize.  Now his place was packed:  shelves piled high;  suitcases overflowing; storage boxes everywhere; flat surfaces loaded with stuff – you get the picture.  For me this was an indication Adam did not have his life sorted out.

I’ve watched my own place transform over the years.  From a time-poor single mother with toddlers and a floor covered in toys – to a totally transformed living area, incorporating the furniture we’ve got, into a wonderful living space to be proud of.

How has this happened? Well in short it is an indication of having your life sorted out.

How did it happen for me?  Over the years I have worked on projects around my house and garden – making improvements here and there.  Most recently I read a book called ‘Joy of Less’ by Francine Jay.  Wow did this book resonate with me.

The ‘Joy of Less’ is about minimalism.  Getting your house in order – tidying – donating – throwing things away.  A definite contrast to the hoarding philosophy.

I read the ‘Joy of Less’ at an ideal time as my project around the house was a kitchen makeover.  It has also been invaluable when we had a huge tidy for a birthday party sleepover in our house.  This lead onto the lounge room transformation.

I was planning this ‘Sorted Eve’  blog in my head – wondering if you have your life sorted out does it mean you will be ready for a new relationship?  I suspected it would help – giving you a certain peacefulness – an inner calm.  Recently I put my theory to the test and oh boy it certainly worked for me [Sparks Fly Eve].

So in summary the time to start dating will vary for everyone.  But the time dating will have more success for you is when your life is sorted out.  What this looks like for you is unique.

To quote a shampoo ad “It doesn’t happen overnight – but it will happen”.

Happy sorting

Surely Eve