Dear Dater,

It seems to be part of human nature to bring animosity, anger and angst to so many of the things we do.  Online dating is no exception.  Rather than reflection we seem to jump to retaliation, revenge and regret.  Reading about peoples dating experiences the anger jumps out at you.

It’s true there is heart ache and anguish involved when online dating.  There’s no doubt about that.  How we deal with it is what matters.  It matters for us and for those around us.  Yes it is perfectly natural to feel sad and flat and disappointed when we break up with Adam.  Anger, anguish, retaliation and regret can stem from here.  Rather than take this emotional path I suggest you adopt a savouring approach.

For me savouring is to enjoy the delights that experiences bring us.  This can be appreciating what we have, soaking up the sunset, or reminiscing on wonderful moments from the past.  Reflecting on pleasurable moments brings our minds joy, our bodies relaxation and our hearts healing.  For me this a favourable approach compared to reflecting on spite, hatred and retaliation.  This angry mindset brings our bodies tension, our minds torture and results in an overall persona that is not much fun to be around.  Everyone is reponsible for their own take on life – and I certainly prefer the high road.

Some examples of what I savour include: holidays; sunsets; dinners; laughter; chats into the night; cheeky smiles; cuddles; walks in the rainforest and bike rides.

What are you going to savour?

Surely Eve