Dear Dater.

Expecting safe sex?

In your dreams……

I grew up with the grim reaper in ads casting death upon sexually active individuals not practicing safe sex.  AIDS was going to kill people who didn’t use condoms.  There are also many other sexually transmitted diseases that can make lives unpleasant in many ways – including sending you blind.

My memory seems to be better than Adams I’ve dated…. That or online dating is cheaper way of having sex without condoms.  I suspect the second alternative is closer to the truth.

Adams appear to make a half-hearted effort early on in the sexual relationship – after you’ve raised the ‘c’ word.  ‘Condom’ certainly is a ‘dirty word’ in the online dating world.  But after a few sexual encounters the ‘c’ word, along with the condoms, go out the window, or rather stay untouched on the bedside table.

Sexually transmitted diseases have not disappeared.  Now, it seems, the implications and responsibilities of individuals to take care of their own sexual safety is what has disappeared.

What I do about this is:

• ask Adam  if he has had tests for sexually transmitted diseases – and listen to the answer – knowing doctors tests are only valid for the point in time the test was taken – sexual relationships since could change the whole picture – also knowing that not everyone tells the truth
• let Adam know that I have had doctors tests and I have no sexually transmitted diseases – this is the truth to the best of my knowledge
• have sex with a relatively small number of Adams
• be selective about who I have sex with – in an attempt to reduce my exposure to sexually transmitted diseases
• get blood tests once a year to see if I am still free of sexually transmitted diseases – hoping like hell while waiting for the results.

Best of luck with your sexual safety!

Surely Eve

PS Please let me know your experiences.