Dear Dater,

The scheduling that is involved with the Adam family care arrangements, factoring in the Eve family care arrangements, is sometimes the impossible factor when trying to meet Adam.  In one case, I found I had a 1.5 hour-per-week opportunity, where Adam and I did not care for our kids.  In another case, I met an Adam who cared for his kids for every day of the year, except for 10 days. This makes my two days per week seem significant, but to other Adams it seems insufficient – especially for Adams with no kids.

With the first example, the Adam with 1.5 hours-per-week meeting opportunity – I found this short timeframe was sufficient for our dating purposes.  His opening line was along the lines of ‘I don’t do much except watch TV and play computer games’.

• A word of advice – even if this is the case – think of something else to say about yourself on a date.

On this date we had coffee and then went walking.  The walk happened to be close to my house.  As we walked my subconscious mind sent my conscious mind the message ‘I hope no-one sees me’.   As my conscious mind became aware of this message I took it to mean ‘This Adam is not for me’.

The second example, where Adam cared for his children every day of the year, except 10 – I met Adam a few times. I would have happily continued to meet this Adam – but the scheduling proved impossible.  On the ten days where Adam was not with his children, he was on holiday with a few of his friends, playing music together, in a wonderful location.  Adam’s description of this holiday was so wonderful it stayed with me well past the times we met.  I nearly sent him a text message, in the month of his holiday, to wish him a wonderful time.  I will remember his holiday for years to come.

For me the care arrangements for my kids are:

• the most important factor for me raising my kids
• an initial ‘inconvenience’, that becomes unimportant once Adam and I decide to meet the kids.

On my days without kids I get an opportunity to date Adam and find out if we are compatible.

May your scheduling stars align.

Surely Eve