Dear Dater,

When you first meet Adam there are a few alternatives:

• you like them, but they don’t like you
• they like you, but you don’t like them
• you both like each other
• neither of you like the other.

All these alternatives are easy to accept on paper.  In reality, some of these options – due to affairs of the heart – are harder to accept.

I was quite shocked early on in my dating journey – I was texting an Adam I’d met on a first date – dinner where we’d chatted about a miriad of topics, laughing into the night.  My texts were inviting him to meet me for another dinner – my treat.  Back came the message ‘Thanks, but no thanks’.  WHAT?  I couldn’t believe it.  In hindsight it is best to be frank and fearless early on – but with consideration of the other person.

Where neither of you like each other, it is unfortunate, but easy to accept. Can be a relief actually.

Where they like you, but you don’t think Adam is ‘your type’, it seems easy for you. Here it is advisable to consider Adam’s feelings. The reason for this can be seen clearly by you on the occasions where you like Adam, but Adam has other ideas.  On these occassions, I remember it is a two-way street and relationships have to work for both parties.  I also remind myself statistics are not on my side (or anyone elses).

The last alternative left is where you both hit it off and continue to meet, text, email, talk or walk with each other. You’ve hit the jackpot of the dating scene and made it past the first date. Oh, if only it were always that easy.

Wishing you many fun times on your dating journey.

Surely Eve